


Underwater Escapade, or, why you should do recon before you dive in

by soufflegirl91



Series: Souffle's 007 Fest 2020 Fancreations [35]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Because I can, Gen, Mission Fic, a tale told in limericks, or rather "mission limerick"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:48:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25446394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soufflegirl91/pseuds/soufflegirl91
Summary: Bond's mission in Australia doesn't quite go as planned.
Series: Souffle's 007 Fest 2020 Fancreations [35]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809892
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7
Collections: 007 Fest Fancreations





	Underwater Escapade, or, why you should do recon before you dive in

**Author's Note:**

> For "Underwater Escapade" on the classic prompt table. I don't really know how it ended up like this, but it did. I have no regrets.

Bond was sent on a mission to Queensland.   
Where he must find the villains he seeks, and  
Though he said “why the fuck,  
Must I hide in this truck?”  
Q just told him to shut up and eat sand. 

When Bond finally got to the coastline  
Of the villains he sought, there was no sign.  
Though he searched on the beach,  
They remained out of reach.  
Soon he had to stop looking and dine.

After dinner, the sun had now set.  
Bond was thinking of placing a bet,  
With Q, when he saw,  
Right there just out to shore,  
A fisherman’s boat with no net. 

“Now, what’s this?” Our Bond thought (not out loud).  
“Could it be I’ve found our evil crowd?”  
As he waited to check,  
On the little boat’s deck,  
Saw a small group of henchmen look proud.

Lucky that Q had made a rebreather  
That fit in his pocket, he either  
Had to swim out and fight  
Or wait for daylight.  
The path to his target would be there. 

Bond decided to act without thinking.  
Had he waited, he would have an inkling  
That there was more to know,  
But this still Bond, and so,  
He dived in and he missed the boat sinking. 

Underwater, Bond noticed a tunnel.  
Or perhaps it was more of a funnel?  
Either way, it was clear,  
That he had to get near.  
He could no longer see the ship’s gunwale*  _ (*pronounced “gunnel”) _

When he finally made it inside,  
(Not told here, though it was a wild ride),  
Bond found a secret lair,  
Under sea, but with air!  
Their engineer really had earned his pride. 

As his entrance had not been very subtle,  
Bond soon found himself in a scuttle.  
Fighting wasn’t much fun,  
With a waterlogged gun,  
But he still had a witty rebuttal!

Now these villains, their fighting was bad.  
Even writing this line makes me sad.   
They went down with no fight,  
While Bond laughed at their plight,  
And stole all the data they had. 

When he made it to shore, it was dawn.  
He called in, Q picked up with a yawn.  
“You will just not believe,  
How I spent this last eve!”  
Q said “Can’t you please wait until morn?”


End file.
